Dynasty Warriors Chat Room
by dzetsu
Summary: There is no storyline. Storyline there is not. Skip the first 5 chapters for all I care.
1. Chapter 1

This chapter has been updated. For the reason why, please check Chapter 14.

* * *

Dzetsu sat in front of her laptop, slamming her forehead repeatedly on the keyboard. She had written this very chapter (the one you're reading, folks) about four or five years ago and felt actual physical pain seeing the old text sitting before her once again.

"Why this?" she groaned to herself. "Who the heck actually types like this? What the heck kind of chat room are they in anyway? Why does it switch between 'logged off' and 'logged out'?"

The disgruntled author scanned her memory of what she had included into this "story".

Another pained moan escaped her lips.

"Why did I include myself in the story?"

Quickly, in order to get the work done with, Dzetsu decided to just pretend that the chapter would be in Lu Xun's point of view, seeing as he was the first to log in.

Dzetsu cleared her throat and waggled her fingers. Time to get working.

* * *

Lu Xun sighed and shambled over towards his computer. The background of this story was completely a mystery and he had no idea how he had access to a computer or if he was supposed to be in his proper timeline or somehow in the future. He guessed that the reader was supposed to make his or her own assumption.

He tried to click the power button with his toe, but missed. Immediately, he felt frustrated. He tried again and again but sometimes his toe would bend and he would start losing balance so the button wouldn't be pressed with enough forced.

Fists clenched, Lu Xun finally gave in to anger and roared, "Why won't you turn on, you infernal piece of junk?"

A well-aimed kick was sent towards the computer, successfully powering on the electronic and injuring Lu Xun's toe.

Biting his lip, Lu Xun sat down and took a few deep breaths while the loading screen appeared on the monitor. He had calmed by the time the desktop and all its icons had loaded. He opened Google Chrome and assumed a look of innocence and ignorant joy on his face to get into character, as everyone seemed to think he was a fun-loving fire freakish fool. If it put their guards down, then so be it. The tactician typed " .com" into the web browser and logged in.

This is how his chat went:

"FunWithFire has logged in.

FunWithFire: Are you kidding me. No one is here? What am I supposed to waste my time doing until someone else comes in?

FunWithFire: I'd swear but this story has a K+ rating.

FunWithFire: I wonder if it'd be okay to put a letter and some stars to suggest swearing.

FunWithFire: I mean they have that Frank's Red Hot Sauce commercial. That strongly suggested that she could be cussing.

(The fiery strategist sat in bored silence before opening another tab to play Othello with an online opponent. After quickly defeating the other player, he closed the tab and sat for another minute.)

FunWithFire: I've been here for fifteen minutes now. Why the bloody h*** would the author do this to me?

FunWithFire: Wait, am I not supposed to reference the author?

FunWithFire: Now I'm being told that I should stop talking to myself because someone else is going to log in.

BladeoVirtue has logged in.

BladeoVirtue: Hello, Lu Xun!

FunWithFire: Wazzup?

(Lu Xun sighed. It was about time. Now he had to act like an idiot.)

Tomboy147 has logged in.

Tomboy147: hey sup gaiz

FunWithFire: Heyy! What's up? :D

SleepingDragon264 has logged in.

SleepingDragon264: Don't you guys know anything about spelling?

Tomboy147: In case u havent noticed, this is a chat room. We dont care about spelling! +, whoa

u can type fast!

BladeoVirtue: He is smart. That's y hes my strategist!

FunWithFire: I'm smart!

(It was painful. He couldn't believe he was acting like such an idiot.

Turning towards the fourth wall, he asked, "Why do I have to do this again?"

Dzetsu was reading a physics text book and didn't really hear him. She glanced up, her eyes wide with surprise at being interrupted.

"Huh? I'm sorry, did you say something?"

"Why do I have to do this again?"

"Oh, uh..." Dzetsu pretended to think and then shrugged. "I don't know. Now go get back to it."

She waved her hand dismissively and went back to the text book.)

Gracefulfans has logged in.

Gracefulfans: hiya evrybody! wazzup!

FunWithFire: At least capitalize! And it shuld be wazzup? not wazzup!

SleepingDragon264: *cough*Spelling*cough*

FunWithFire: Shaddup Zhuge Liang! Just cuz u beat me at the Stone Sentinel Maze dusent mean ur smarter than me!

SleepingDragon264: Are you drunk? I know you can spell better than that!

FunWithFire: Sh-sh-shuddup! I didunt foun any ov lu meng's wine!

SleepingDragon264: I never said you did, which proves that you did, and are drunk.

Tomboy147: Justa sec.

Tomboy147 has logged out.

FunWithFire: huh? oh hi sun shang – ow ow ow!

(Because the author hadn't paid any attention at that time, she had forgotten to make Lu Xun type normally and gave up and magically made him drunk out of no where. As soon as Sun Shang Xiang had appeared in the doorway, the magical drunkness had worn off.

As the warrior princess smashed his face in, Lu Xun cried and screamed like a little girl until he passed out from the sheer pain.)

FunWithFire has logged out.

("AUTHOR!"

Lu Xun screamed as soon as he regained conciousness. Sun Shang Xiang had run into the room and knocked the... uh... crud? out of him.

Dzetsu had somehow managed to miss the whole thing and was still studying.

"What happened?:

Lu Xun sighed dramatically and stalked out of the room. He slammed the door, leaving Dzetsu staring quizzically at it for a few moments, wondering _What's his problem? _before shrugging and continuing her book.

The chat continued without him.)

Gracefulfans: … Okay…

Tomboy147 has logged in.

Tomboy147: Back!

BladeoVirtue: wb

BladeoVirtue: What did you do to him?

Tomboy147: I knocked him out. Didnt want him 2 cause 2 much trouble.

Gracefulfans: but he didnt do anything 2 cause trouble.

Tomboy147: …oh well.

Gracefulfans: but that was mean! u gotta admit that hes cute.

Zhouyu986 has logged in.

Zhouyu986: Who's cute?! Lu Xun is DEAD!

SleepingDragon264: Wow, Zhou Yu, you have no imagination.

Zhouyu986: Shut up! Anyways, Lu Xun, you are so dead!

Zhouyu986 has logged out.

(Zhou Yu coughed up blood. He hated partaking in idiotic gatherings such as this chat room. He wasn't actually going to kill Lu Xun. It was just his way of excusing himself at last.)

Gracefulfans: uhh... oops?

Tomboy147: Oops? Oops?! Lu Xun is gonna die now!

SleepingDragon264: Well, you already knocked him out, so Lu Xun now has no chance to escape.

Tomboy147: And besides that you

Tomboy147: Wait, now ur blaming me!

SleepingDragon264: It is partially your fault that he's going to die.

Tomboy147: Ragh! I'm gonna get Sun Ce to stop Zhou Yu. Cya!

Tomboy147 has logged out.

BladeoVirtue: Wanna know what? I think I g2g. Cyas!

BladeoVirtue logged out.

Gracefulfans: u know wats weird? u couldn't tell that lu xun was drunk at first.

SleepingDragon264: And…?

Gracefulfans: Oh, justa small fun fact to the reader.

SleepingDragon264: I see.

Horsepower has logged in.

Gracefulfans: What kinda name is that? Horsepower?! Lol!

Horsepower: SHUT UP! The author did that for comical porpoises!

SleepingDragon264: Porpoises? Don't you mean purposes?

Horsepower: SHUT UP!

Gracefulfans: u shouldn't be angry all the time, ul go bald! no, im very absolutely sure that ur gonna go bald!

Horsepower: ARGH!

Gracefulfans: *cough*anger management*cough*

DWFan: Can you guys think of a good username for Jiang Wei? I'm kinda stuck.

Gracefulfans: who're u?

DWFan: I'm the author of this fanfic. Hurry up and help me out, or I'll make something weird happen to you!

Horsepower: This is not my day…

DWFan: What was that?

Horsepower: Nothing!

Horsepower: I'm just bad at thinking.

DWFan: I was on AIM at the same time. I just didn't catch it is all.

SleepingDragon264: …

Horsepower: …

Gracefulfans: …

SleepingDragon264: Who're you talking to on AIM?

DWFan: Just some of my friends from school.

DWFan: r u guys gonna help me or not?

SleepingDragon264: How about

SleepingDragon264: Screw this, I'm logging out.

SleepingDragon264 has logged out.

DWFan: grrr… ur lucky ur my sis's fave character…

DWFan: Otherwise, a giant rock would have fallen on ur head

Gracefulfans has logged out.

DWFan: Hey!

Horsepower has logged out.

DWFan: They called my bluff…

DWFan has logged out.

FearMySpear has logged in.

FearMySpear: Hello?

FearMySpear: Dang! Not again!

FearMySpear: Why do I always end up alone?!

FearMySpear: Gee, I must be lonely…

FearMySpear: Maybe I'll go check on Lord Liu Bei.

FearMySpear has logged out."

Dzetsu threw up.


	2. Chapter 2

This chapter has been updated. For the reason why, please check Chapter 14.

* * *

"NOOO!" Dzetsu howled. "I had to endure editing the first chapter but there's still so many to go? Why won't this torment end?"

* * *

Lu Xun stabbed his computer with his sword, hoping to end his torment. However, misery loves company, and since an author can literally make anything happen within her own story, the computer magically transformed into an indestructible computer that spouted bubbles at fifteen minute intervals.

"Curses," Lu Xun grumbled. "Foiled again."

He did as he was ordered and sat down and logged into the chat room, shortly after Cao Cao did.

"HeroOfChaos has logged in.

HeroOfChaos: Strange that I felt suddenly compelled to make an account and join this chat room.

FunWithFire has logged in.

Tomboy147 has logged in.

FunWithFire: Owwww….. I have a hangover….

(He didn't really, but he had to play along.)

Tomboy147: You got drunk, it's ur fault.

FunWithFire: AND a bump on the back of my head!

(That part was true. Why did Sun Shang Xiang have to be such a violent... uh... bi... butt...?)

Tomboy147: …. Heheh. Sorry bout that.

Tomboy147: Wait, ur still alive?!

FunWithFire: Yeah, but I'm sore all over. I got bruises everywhere!

Tomboy147: U know, Cao Cao's a jerk. He wanted to kidnap my sister-in-laws.

HeroOfChaos: Hey! I'm right here!

FunWithFire: WHOA! Where did you come from?

HeroOfChaos: ... You have to be kidding. I logged on right before you.

(Cao Cao mentally slapped himself. He forgot he was supposed to type like an imbecile. For some reason. Yeah.)

HeavenRulez has logged in.

HeroOfChaos: Oh great, Zhang Jiao's in.

HeavenRulez: Heaven! Way of Peace! Heaven! Blah Blah Blah! Heaven! My children! Heaven! Yellow Turbans! Heaven! Punish the Han! Heaven!

FunWithFire: Oh great…

HeavenRulez: Heaven!

Tomboy147: Justa sec.

Tomboy147 has logged out.

FunWithFire: Even though I've been through the pain b4, I don't feel srry for him.

HeavenRulez: HEAVEN! Oh, SSX, are you going to become a follower of the Way of- Ow! Oh god! Stop! Heeeellllppp! Ow ow ow ow! Argh! Aiyeeeee!

FunWithFire: …

HeroOfChaos: …

HeavenRulez has logged out.

Tomboy147 has logged in.

Tomboy147: I was beating him up, and he still kept typing! And he won't shut up.

FunWithFire: I can still hear his screams….

Zhouyu986 has logged in.

Zhouyu986: Anyone wanna tell me what's going on? Zhang Jiao's screaming like a little girl.

FunWithFire: *Points to SSX*

HeroOfChaos: *Points to SSX

FunWithFire: Copycat.

Tomboy147: U guys r so nice.

SleepingDragon264 has logged in.

SleepingDragon264: Hello, everyone,

BladeoVirtue has logged in.

BladeoVirtue: Hihi!

Foodisgood has logged in.

Horsepower has logged in.

Horsepower: Can some please tell me that I can change my username.

Foodisgood: i donno

Horsepower: any1 else?

SleepingDragon264: No, sorry…

Horsepower: Nooooooooooooooooo!

BladeoVirtue: …

FunWithFire: …

HeroOfChaos: …

Zhouyu986: …

Tomboy147: …

Horsepower: Author, change my username! Plz!

DWFan: Too bad.

Horsepower: When did you get on?

DWFan: Way before u guys did.

DWFan: Cya. Ur not getting ur username changed.

DWFan has logged out.

Horsepower: …

BladeoVirtue: …

FunWithFire: …

HeroOfChaos: …

Zhouyu986: …

Tomboy147: …

SleepingDragon264: …

Foodisgood: … : ) ….

HeroOfChaos: lol. Horsepower…

Horsepower: SHUT UP!

SleepingDragon264: Xiao Qiao was right. You are going to go bald if you keep on getting so angry.

Horsepower: grrrr…

Horsepower has logged out.

FunWithFire: Cya guys! I gotta buy more matches! Remember guys, fire is the answer to everything!

FunWithFire has logged out.

BladeoVirtue: Zhuge Liang, have u seen Zhang Fei around?

SleepingDragon264: No. Why?

BladeoVirtue: Oh, nothing important. Oh, I see him. He's outside. Brb!

BladeoVirtue has logged out.

Tomboy147: I'm bored. Let's talk about something fun!

HeroOfChaos: Hey wait, ur the only girl here! Don't any of the girls use this chatroom besides u?

QiaoBeauty has logged in.

Gracefulfans has logged in.

HeroOfChaos: Well I spoke too soon. Why doesn't anyone of Wei log on?

FancyFlute has logged in.

CowPee has logged in.

HeroOfChaos: Cao Pi, is that you?

CowPee: what do u think…

Gracefulfans: LOL!

CowPee: SHUT UP! I didn't choose the name! I don't even know how this happened! My name is pronounced T'sao, not Cow!

FancyFlute: Isn't there any way to change ur username, my lord?

SleepingDragon264: Sorry, no.

CowPee: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooo!

Tomboy147: Déjà vu.

CowPee: What?

Tomboy147: Ma Chao – Horsepower – said the same thing when he learned that he couldn't change his username.

Gracefulfans: Lol…. Horsepower… hehehe…

QiaoBeauty: He should be grateful that his name isn't as bad as Cao Pi's!

Gracefulfans: CowPee.

CowPee: Shut up!

CowPee has logged out.

FancyFlute: My lord!

FancyFlute has logged out.

HeroOfChaos: That was entertaining.

Foodisgood: CowPee is funy!

HeroOfChaos: huh? Oh Xu Zhu… why don't you go find Dian Wei?

Foodisgood: hes in the bafroom.

SleepingDragon264: *cough*blockhead*cough*

QiaoBeauty: Don't be mean!

HeroOfChaos: Is it that time already! Cya!

HeroofChaos has logged out.

Foodisgood: im hungree im gonna go now

Foodisgood has logged out.

Gracefulfans: Who's left?

QiaoBeauty: I'm here.

SleepingDragon264: Here.

Tomboy147: I'm here.

Zhouyu986: Here.

BladeoVirtue has logged in.

BladeoVirtue: Here!

FearMySpear has logged in.

FearMySpear: Yay! People are here this time!

BladeoVirtue: Actually, I only logged in because I needed to say that I was going to go to Costco, and wasn't going to be logging in for a while.

BladeoVirtue has logged out.

FearMySpear: oh.

Tomboy147: I'm going with him!

Tomboy147 has logged out.

FearMySpear: ah.

Gracefulfans: I'm going too!

Gracefulfans has logged out.

FearMySpear: uh…

SleepingDragon264: It's time for me to work on a strategy with Jiang Wei.

SleepingDragon264 has logged out.

FearMySpear: dang…

QiaoBeauty: I'm going with my sister.

QiaoBeauty has logged out.

FearMySpear: darn…

Zhouyu986: I'm going to Costco with Xiao Qiao.

Zhouyu986 has logged out.

FearMySpear: Noooooooooo! I'm alone again!

FearMySpear: Wait, Costco?

FearMySpear: Maybe they have free samples!

FearMySpear has logged out."

Zhao Yun felt suddenly compelled to log everything that happened in the chat room and did. What you just read was the entire thing. Yeah.

Dzetsu vomited again. There was some blood in it.


	3. Chapter 3

Gracefulfans has logged in.

QiaoBeauty has logged in.

Zhouyu986 has logged in.

BladeoVirtue has logged in.

Tomboy147 has logged in.

Gracefulfans: that was fun! im so full I bet I wont even eat the pizza we got!

Tomboy147: Sis, you're the one who made us buy the pizza.

Gracefulfans: oh. oh! oh, yeah!

BladeoVirtue: Has any1 seen my sword? Without my blade, I'm just gonna be oVirtue.

Tomboy147: I think I saw Liu Chan fooling with it.

SleepingDragon264 has logged in.

Zhouyu986: Grrr… Zhuge Liang…

SleepingDragon264: My lord, your son has just impaled his foot with your sword.

BladeoVirtue: OMG!!

BladeoVirtue has logged off.

Tomboy147: …Did he really?

SleepingDragon264: Nah, but he's going to if he keeps playing with Liu Bei's weapon.

SilverStallion has logged in.

Gracefulfans: Ma Chao? But arent u supposed 2 b Horsepower?

SilverStallion: I made a new user!

SleepingDragon264: And why didn't you do that before?

SilverStallion: Shaddup! The author wanted to delay this event until now.

QiaoBeauty: Stop breaking the fourth wall! It's getting old!

SilverStallion: Sorry.

HeavenRulez has logged in.

HeavenRulez: Hellooooooo, my children!

Zhouyu986: Aw, crud.

HeavenRulez: Joooiiiinnnn the Waaaay of Peeeaaace!

Gracefulfans: HECK NO!

HeavenRulez: Hey, hey! Guys I gotta jooooke!

SleepingDragon264: Let's hear it then.

HeavenRulez: Knock Knooock!

SleepingDragon264: Who's there?

Zhouyu986: Who's there?

Zhouyu986: Aw, you beat me to it.

HeavenRulez: Yellow

SleepingDragon264: Yellow who?

HeavenRulez: Yellow TURBANS! Ahahahaha! I'm so hilarious!!!!

Tomboy147: U want me to?

QiaoBeauty: Sure.

Tomboy147 has logged out.

HeavenRulez: HEAVEN! WAY OF PEEEEAAAACE! HEAVEN!!! MY CHIIIIILDREEEEN! HEAV- oh noes! Uhhh…. Hi SSX…

SleepingDragon264: …

Zhouyu986: …

HeavenRulez: ARGH! AIYEEEE!!! Spines don't bend that way!!!!

HeavenRulez has logged out.

Tomboy147 has logged in.

FunWithFire has logged in.

FunWithFire: SSX, u should stop killing people.

Tomboy147: It's not like they're dead! They're just….

FunWithFire: Dead?

Tomboy147: Yes!

Tomboy147: Wait, no!

Gracefulfans: Well, I don't think she really kills them.

QiaoBeauty: It still isn't a good thing to do.

Tomboy147: Garrr!!! I'm leaving!

Tomboy147 has logged out.

FearMySpear has logged in.

FearMySpear: W00t! People r here!

SleepingDragon264: Hello, how are you?

FearMySpear: Doing great! That cheesecake at Costco was great!

FearMySpear: Brb, though. I have to run an errand.

FearMySpear has logged out.

Zhouyu986: Any1 have anything funny 2 say? I have a feeling this chapter is doing a really bad job compared 2 the other 2.

SilverStallion: Huh? Sorry, I fell asleep.

Gracefulfans: Well, I'm bored. Any1 wanna go 2 the library with me?

QiaoBeauty: I'll come.

Zhouyu986: I'm coming.

Gracefulfans: Kk! Cya latah peeps!

Gracefulfans has logged out.

QiaoBeauty has logged out.

Zhouyu986 has logged out.

Tomboy147: What's taking Liu Bei so long?

FunWithFire: has any1 seen my matches? I can't find them… :(

SleepingDragon264: Nope, sorry.

SilverStallion: U shouldn't be playing with matches anyway.

BladeoVirtue has logged in.

BladeoVirtue: Sorry I took so long!

Tomboy147: What were u doing?

BladeoVirtue: Well, Sun Quan was passing by, so we had a little chat!

SilverStallion: I thought Sun Quan didn't like u.

BladeoVirtue: Meh, whatever. I g2g anyway. I'm heading to do something random that forces me to log off so the author doesn't have to deal with me even if I'm her favorite character.

BladeoVirtue has logged out.

Tomboy147: We shouldn't break the fourth wall so much. There's no telling what could happen!

SilverStallion: fldsjkf

SilverStallion: dsoolvowp98f dgf64 ds564  dsg

Tomboy147: Oh noes! It's happening!

SilverStallion: Fooled ya.

Tomboy147: I'm… going… to… strangle… you… Don't scare me like that!

Tomboy147 has logged out.

SilverStallion: uh-oh, gotta go.

SilverStallion has logged out.

FunWithFire: Wah! I still can't find my matches! I'm going to the store to get new ones!!! Cya!

FunWithFire has logged out.

SleepingDragon264: I guess there's no reason for me to stick around…

SleepingDragon264 has logged out.

FearMySpear has logged in.

FearMySpear: There WAS reason for u 2 stick around! I didn't come back yet!!!

FearMySpear: You know, author, this isn't so funny anymore!!!!!!!1111one

FearMySpear: …

FearMySpear: Do I smell cookies?

FearMySpear: I hope whoever's making 'em will give me some!

FearMySpear has logged out.

SleepingDragon264 has logged in.

SleepingDragon264: I forgot about Zilong…

SleepingDragon264: Well, looks like he's after some cookies.

SleepingDragon264: Didn't Yue Ying say she was going to make some today?

SleepingDragon264: Maybe I should get a couple….

SleepingDragon264 has logged out.

FancyFlute has logged in.

FancyFlute: What the- where is every1?

FancyFlute: …

FancyFlute has logged out.

CowPee has logged in.

CowPee: huh.

CowPee: HEY! How come Ma Chao gets a new user and I don't!

CowPee: grrrrr…

FearMySpear has logged in.

FearMySpear: yay! For the first time, I'm not the last one here!

CowPee has logged out.

FearMySpear: …

FearMySpear: At least the cookies were choco chip! :)

FearMySpear: Those were good. I gotta see if yue ying'll let me have some more.

FearMySpear has logged out.


	4. Chapter 4

Sorry guys, this one is lacking. I'm really running out of ideas, plus I have midterms, so... yeah. Pretty soon I'll virtually stop updating this and post ACTUAL fanfictions.

Also... If anyone has any funny ideas, please share.

* * *

Tomboy147 has logged in.

MightisRight has logged in.

DanceofDeath has logged in.

MightisRight: What a coincidence it is to see you here Diao Chan!

DanceofDeath: Uh, no it's not a coincidence, you told me to meet you at six.

MightisRight: oh.

Tomboy147: Where are Sun Ce, Sun Quan, Xiao Qiao and Da Qiao? I told 'em to meet me here!

Tigahsrool has logged in.

Tomboy147: Hi dad.

Tigahsrool: ur brothers and sisters told me 2 tell u that they were volunteering at the Lobster Bake and wouldn't b able to meet u.

Tomboy147: What?!?! But I thot it was tomorrow!

Tigahsrool: U thot wrong.

Tomboy147: Oh well, i'll get it next year

DanceofDeath: But SSX, that's what you said last year, and the year b4 that, and the year b4 that…

Tomboy147: I swear i'll get it next year!

MightisRight: and the year b4 that, and the year b4 that….

Tigahsrool: Yeah, well, im outta here.

Tigahsrool has logged out.

Tomboy147: Daaaaaddddd!!!!

DongZhou has logged in.

DongZhou: Wow, whatta surprise – no one took this name! I wonder y!

MightisRight: I don't see a reason to wonder.

MightisRight: Hey, notice SSX hasn't beaten anyone up yet?

DanceofDeath: …

DongZhou: …

Tomboy147: …

MightisRight: Dang it!

DongZhou: u h8 me that much?

MightisRight: pretty much, there's a reason y I rebelled and killed u

DongZhou: u mean how u were SUPPOSED to rebel and kill me, but as im still here, obviously didn't

DanceofDeath: ummm…

DanceofDeath: We're kinda referring 2 the game, so yeah, we did kill u

DongZhou: u technically killed me in history neway!

DanceofDeath: meh, father's wishes

DanceofDeath: no one liked u anyway, only 1 guy mourned, and he was killed.

Tomboy147: am I supposed to just sit here and listen, or can I leave without being rude?

MightisRight: u can leave – we don't mind.

Tomboy147 has logged out.

Foodisgood has logged in.

MightisRight: how does xu zhu even remember his password?

DongZhou: Maybe he gets Dian Wei to help.

DanceofDeath: and how would dian wei remember?

DongZhou: Maybe he gets Cao Cao to help.

MightisRight: and why would Cao Cao wanna help?

DongZhou: …

DongZhou: uh-oh, got some more assassins on my butt, g2g

DongZhou has logged out.

Foodisgood: I like food.

MightisRight: We know.

Randomuser has logged in.

Randomuser: Joe, r u in here?

MightisRight: No.

DanceofDeath: No.

Randomuser: Oh

Randomuser has logged out.

TrueStrength has logged in.

TrueStrength: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Zhang Jiao's dead! How am I s'posed to get my turban yellow again?

TrueStrength has logged out.

DanceofDeath: Huh, I guess we shouldn't tell him what he actually does.

MightisRight: No, but we can tell people to read the San Comics!

DanceofDeath: If u r under… I dunno, 15? Don't read it. Then again, the author read it, and she's 13…

DWFan has logged in.

DWFan: Someone say something about me?

DanceofDeath: Yeah, ur 13 and u read San Comics.

DWFan: And…?

MightisRight: We were just saying is all.

DWFan: oh.

DWFan has logged out.

DWFan has logged in.

DWFan: Oh yeah, if the volume of a sphere is calculated by 4/3 x pi x r squared, and the volume is 338.27 inches squared, what is the radius of the sphere?

MightisRight: I dunno, what?

DWFan: I dunno, I was asking you.

DWFan: Look, midterms are coming up, I need 2 know how 2 do this.

DanceofDeath: Then u shouldn't b asking us 4 the answer.

DWFan: I have 2 show my work. I just needed the answer so I know what I need 2 get.

DWFan has logged out.

DanceofDeath: I'm…. Bored.

DanceofDeath has logged out.

MightisRight: Same here.

MightisRight has logged out.

SilverStallion has logged in.

SilverStallion: Has any1 seen my shoe?

SilverStallion: …

SilverStallion: Huh, no one's on.

SilverStallion has logged out.


	5. Chapter 5

Thank you, and happy belated birthday, Xiahou Ayumi!!! I appreciate you contributing your idea to me! Because of your help, you received a cameo appearance! If anyone else wants one, submit ideas via review, and you MIGHT receive a special appearance, depending on number of submissions (I don't want it getting out of hand! I can't write too fast.). And to Xiahou Ayumi, as you being the first reviewer to give an idea, you are a permanent cast member of the Dynasty Warriors Chatroom! Keep sending ideas, you're not limited to one!

~Hermioneee147

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OneEyedWonder has logged in.

HeroOfChaos has logged in.

Foodisgood has logged in.

FancyFlute has logged in.

CowPee has logged in.

ArcheryBoy333 has logged in.

SupahGenius123 has logged in.

MaleBeauty has logged in.

CaoRen has logged in.

TrueStrength has logged in.

Baldbodyguard has logged in.

Baldbodyguard: Oh yeah, Pang De's not coming cuz the author can't think up a name for him.

MaleBeauty: Cao Ren! How did u get ur name as a user without numbers! No 1 cept Dong Zhuo, and that's cuz he's ooooollld. And fat. And ugly. And definitely not graceful.

CaoRen: I created this user at the beginning of the internet! XD

MaleBeauty: WHAT?!?!

CaoRen: yah, i don't remember the details, but I THINK that's what happened.

Foodisgood: thnks 4 rembering mi password tsao tsao

HeroOfChaos: No prob.

SupahGenius123: You helped him?

HeroOfChaos: Yeah, why?

ArcheryBoy333: Sima Yi, just cuz people r stupider than u doesn't mean u hav 2 put them down.

TrueStrength: Yang Feng peed on my armor!!! Geezie lordy Im lucky I still got my pole-axe clean…

HeroOfChaos: And u proved to not be such a great warrior anyway.

CowPee: I still don't like my name… How come Ma Chao gets 2 get a new user and I don't?

OneEyedWonder: Who cares? I don't. I'm the coolest guy in Wei.

HeroOfChaos: Hey, I'M the coolest guy in Wei.

OneEyedWonder: I got this awesome i-patch, and I 8 my own i! U only cut ur hair in place of killing urself when ur horse trampled sum wheat!

HeroOfChaos: I'm the leader of this gig!

OneEyedWonder: I got a cool scimitar! And a club for 6!

HeroOfChaos: ur club looks like pocky!

SupahGenius123: I'm the smartest guy under the heavens!

ArcheryBoy333: 2 tell the truth, I think that Zhuge Liang beat ya.

SupahGenius123: SHUT UP!!! I'M SMART!!!

HeroOfChaos: I got like 50 wives!

FancyFlute: That's a bad thing.

HeroOfChaos: …

Foodisgood: I gots alot uv baozi.

Baldbodyguard: good 4 u.

FancyFlute: I'm the only woman here.

CowPee: I became 1 of the competitors 4 pretty boy in Dynasty Warriors 5!

SupahGenius123: I remember that… at that point, ur name was pronounced cow pee instead of tsao pee!

CowPee: Shaddup!

MaleBeauty: I was pretty much unopposed b4 u came along.

SupahGenius123: actually, some people consider me a pretty boy!

MaleBeauty: I'M THE PRETTY BOY HERE!!!

SupahGenius123: meep.

OneEyedWonder: It's not like I was 1 of the ugly guys.

Foodisgood: I hav tuns uv baozi.

HeroOfChaos: We heard u the first time – wait what?

ArcheryBoy333: I want baozi!

ArcheryBoy333 has logged off.

CaoRen has logged off.

TrueStrength has logged off.

CowPee has logged off.

FancyFlute has logged off.

Foodisgood: huh? Oh hi giys, hay! Mi baozi! No touchie!!!

HeroOfChaos: …

OneEyedWonder: …

MaleBeauty: …

Baldbodyguard: is he in the baozi vault again?

OneEyedWonder: I think so…

FunWithFire has logged in.

FunWithFire: what's going on?

Foodisgood: dayre eeting mi baozi!!

FunWithFire has logged off.

Foodisgood: Hi lu xun! Hay! Wut r u doin?

Foodisgood has logged off.

CaoRen has logged in.

FancyFlute has logged in.

CowPee has logged in.

TrueStrength has logged in.

ArcheryBoy333 has logged in.

CaoRen: that was tasty.

Foodisgood has logged in.

Foodisgood: Tat wuz mine!

CowPee: soo…. Where were we again?

SupahGenius123: we were hating zhuge liang.

FancyFlute: Right.

FancyFlute: I mean, wrong!!!

SupahGenius123: Well, we can start now.

HeavenRulez has logged in.

SupahGenius123: I thought u died! AIYYEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! I SEE DEAD PEOPLE!!!

SupahGenius123 has logged off.

HeavenRulez: Hehehe… that was classic.

HeroOfChaos: Ur not dead?!?!

HeavenRulez: I'm not even Zhang Jiao! His password was written on a post-it note on his old monitor.

ArcheryBoy333: Was his password… WayOfPeace?

HeavenRulez: wrong!

OneEyedWonder: It was heaven!

HeavenRulez: U r correct!!!

RandomMessenger has logged in.

RandomMessenger: Lord Cao Cao! Sima Yi is running across the country at top speed screaming about dead people!

HeroOfChaos: not again!

HeroOfChaos has logged off.

MaleBeauty: Well, now we can talk about my grace and beauty!

RandomMessenger: Gay.

RandomMessenger has logged off.

MaleBeauty: WHAT!?!?!?!?!??!?!?

MaleBeauty has logged off.

ArcheryBoy333: he's a goner.

MaleBeauty has logged in.

MaleBeauty: What'd I miss? I had to clean blood off my weapons.

CaoRen: …

FunWithFire has logged in.

FunWithFire: what's up?

Xiahou Ayumi has logged in.

Xiahou Ayumi: …

Xiahou Ayumi: OMG! Hi Xiahou Dun!

OneEyedWonder: IT'S A FANGIRL!!!! RUNNNNNN!!!!

OneEyedWonder has logged off.

MaleBeauty has logged off.

CowPee has logged off.

FancyFlute: Wait! My lord!

FancyFlute has logged off.

ArcheryBoy333 has logged off.

HeavenRulez has logged off.

TrueStrength: Ig2g.

TrueStrength has logged off.

CaoRen has logged off.

Baldbodyguard: Hurry Xu Zhu!

Foodisgood: I don wanna go…

Baldbodyguard: I got baozi!

Baldbodyguard has logged off.

Foodisgood has logged off.

Xiahou Ayumi: Hey Lu Xun! I think u'd go well with Xiao Qiao!

FunWithFire has logged off.

Xiahou Ayumi: Awwww… They all ignored me!

Xiahou Ayumi has logged in.


	6. Chapter 6

Alright, now I have to thank Kick-It-Aus Style-Mal's for sending in an idea! Remember, I really, really don't mind ideas! And as DWFan will mention later on... midterms are almost done! I have a science one tomorrow, and besides that, there may be a snow day tomorrow as well! I'm in a good mood! And, I forgot to mention this, but I'm planning to update either this, or a chapter of any other fanfiction I'll get around to creating eventually at least once a week.

~Hermioneee147

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HeroOfChaos has logged in.

OneEyedWonder has logged in.

ArcheryBoy333 has logged in.

SupahGenius123 has logged in.

SleepingDragon264 has logged in.

FunWithFire has logged in.

Zhouyu986 has logged in.

CowPee has logged in.

BladeoVirtue has logged in.

OneEyedWonder: There was a FANGIRL last time!

Zhouyu986: I know… scary.

BladeoVirtue: I knows! I feel ur pain man!

BladeoVirtue: Once Zhao Yun had 2 go 2 the hospitable cuz of fangirls!

OneEyedWonder: Ouch!

SleepingDragon264: …

SupahGenius123: U HAD ME RUNNING TEN MILES, ON FOOT, SCREAMING ABOUT DEAD PEOPLE!!!

SleepingDragon264: Soz, couldn't resist. It was funny.

SupahGenius123: Not to me…

HeroOfChaos: U were running so fast, it was hard to catch u on horse.

SupahGenius123: I hate dead people.

ArcheryBoy333: We know! U completely lost it.

FunWithFire: I thot it was HILARIOUS!!!

OneEyedWonder: Hold a sec. Someone's at the door.

OneEyedWonder has logged off.

CowPee: Hmm… No1 usually comes to visit…

FunWithFire: Who's at the door?

ArcheryBoy333: Errr… he's yelling help over and over again. Lemme check on him.

ArcheryBoy333 has logged off.

SleepingDragon264: Let's talk about something interesting.

CowPee: Like how beautiful my wife is?

SupahGenius123: Sure.

SupahGenius123: Hey, wait! No! No 1 wants 2 talk about ur crummy wife!

CowPee: My wife is not crummy!

FunWithFire: At least her name isn't Cow Pee.

CowPee: Shut up!

SleepingDragon264: I think my wife is better! She's smart and beautiful!

CowPee: R u kidding? My wife is 10x prettier than urs! And she can play the flute!

SleepingDragon264: Ur wife just plays the same note on her stupid flute.

FunWithFire: That flute is painful! And my wife isn't in the game…

Zhouyu986: R u joking? Xiao Qiao is the best!

BladeoVirtue: SSX is great!

Zhouyu986: SSX is such a tomboy.

BladeoVirtue: She's ur sister-in-law! I think. Ur family is confusing.

CowPee: My wife is the best!!!

SleepingDragon264: My wife can fight, she's smart, beautiful, and she's definitely a lot nicer than yours!

HeroOfChaos: I got tons of wives… so…

SupahGenius123: I don't have a wife!!!

HeroOfChaos: It's okay, ur wife just isn't in the game. How else would u have sons?

SupahGenius123: How come Wu gets to have 3 girls in their team?

FunWithFire: Cuz we rule! I think we have the most people altogether too!

SleepingDragon264: We have Xing Cai in 5.

BladeoVirtue: And Other has Diao Chan and Zhu Rong!

SupahGenius123: If you separate the Others, there is one in Lu Bu, one in Dong Zhuo, and one in Nanman! Well, at least in Dynasty Warriors 4.

Zhouyu986: Hey, how come Xiahou Yuan and Xiahou Dun haven't come back yet?

RandomMessenger2: Lord Cao Cao! Xiahou Yuan has fled from the house, screaming about fangirls!

HeroOfChaos: What?

RandomMessenger2: And Xiahou Dun is… freaking out while a girl is talking to him…

HeroOfChaos: OH GEEZ!

HeroOfChaos has logged off.

OneEyedWonder has logged in.

OneEyedWonder: I'm FREE!!!

RandomMessenger2: I think Cao Cao is… yep, he's running for it.

BladeoVirtue: Is he screaming?

Zhouyu986: Most likely.

RandomMessenger2: Yes, he is.

Kick-It-Aus Style-Mal's has logged in.

Kick-It-Aus Style-Mal's: Hiya all!

OneEyedWonder: RUNNN!!!

OneEyedWonder: Oh noes! The writer doesn't want us to log off yet!

Kick-It-Aus Style-Mal's: Geez, y r u so scared of fangirls – oh yeah.

Xiahou Ayumi has logged in.

Xiahou Ayumi: Hi again Xiahou Dun!

OneEyedWonder: WHY ISN'T IT WORKING?!?!

CowPee: Let me go! I wanna live!!!

DWFan has logged in.

DWFan: Too bad. Good news is, I got the science midterm tomorrow, and then I'm done! And, tomorrow might be a snow day too!

DWFan: Oh, and you guys are going to suffer through fangirls for every new chapter too!

OneEyedWonder: AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!

CowPee: AAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!

SleepingDragon264: HEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLPPPPP!!!!

BladeoVirtue: OH NOES!!!

Zhouyu986: Freakin' out, freakin' out, freakin' out, FREAKING OUT!!!

SupahGenius123: KYAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

FunWithFire: I DON'T WANT TO DIE!!!

DWFan: STOP SCREAMING!

OneEyedWonder: OHMYGOD!!!

Kick-It-Aus Style-Mal's: …

Xiahou Ayumi: Guys! We're not gonna kill u!

CowPee: I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE!!!

DWFan: Ur not gonna die!!!

SleepingDragon264: HELP ME!!! SOMEBODY SAVE ME!!!

BladeoVirtue: I HAVE A WIFE AND A KID!!!

SupahGenius123: I'M TOO SMART TO DIE!!!

FunWithFire: ARE THERE MATCHES IN HEAVEN?

CowPee: I DON'T WANT TO DIE!!!

DWFan: EVERYBODY SHUT UP!!!

FunWithFire: I DON'T WANNA!!

BladeoVirtue: I CAN'T REMEMBER WHY WE'RE SCREAMING!!!

Kick-It-Aus Style-Mal's: Cuz of us?

SupahGenius123: OH YEAH!!!

Xiahou Ayumi: U don't gotta keep caps locking it!

OneEyedWonder: TOO BAD!!

CowPee: I STILL DON'T WANT TO DIE! I'M TOO PRETTY BOYISH!

BladeoVirtue: WHY R WE STILL SCREAMING?

* * *

The server has crashed. Sorry for the inconvenience!

Hermioneee147: Hey, what the?


	7. Chapter 7

Thank you, BluePheonix! I was really stuck on that one! Also, your idea has given me an idea that will be explained later on in this chapter. And to Xiahou Ayumi? You can have Xiahou Dun, but Liu Bei's mine!

Anyways, I appreciate your (**hint**) reviews (**hint**) and ideas (**hint**)! Remember (**hint**) that ideas (**hint**) will equal (**hint**) cameos, so, if you want a cameo, **hint**, **hint**, then give ideas! Get the **hint**?

~Hermioneee147

* * *

FearMySpear has logged in.

SilverStallion has logged in.

SweetProdigy has logged in.

FearMySpear: **Hint**.

SilverStallion: Why'd you say **hint**?

FearMySpear: I don't know, but I had a sudden inclination to say **hint**!

SweetProdigy: Don't overuse the word **hint**. The author already said **hint** a bunch of times.

FearMySpear: Why do people say **hint**? Ex: when people say, "take the **hint**!"

SilverStallion: **Hint** sounds better when you say, "Take the **hint**!" as opposed to, "Take the clue!"

SweetProdigy: Stop saying **hint**! It's too repetitive when you say **hint** in every sentence!

SilverStallion: Take this **hint**, don't reprimand people for using **hint** too many times. Freedom of speech!

FearMySpear: **Hint**, **hint**!

SweetProdigy: Okay, shut up! I don't want to hear **hint** anymore, get the **point**?

FearMySpear: Why do people say get the **point**? A **point** is a noun, does **point **really fit in that sentence?

SweetProdigy: Well, I guess they mean **point** as in like, "Get what I'm trying to say?" On Word Document, a synonym for **point** is a position, so… Well, you get the **point**.

FearMySpear: I still don't exactly get the **point** of **point**! How would you get the **point** by somebody's explanation! There's no **point** in using **point** for saying that you get the **point** when **point** is a tip or position, it just doesn't make sense to me! So stop saying **point**, get the **hint**?

SweetProdigy: Okay, I get the **poi **– I mean **hint**.

SilverStallion: **Hint** was so last overdoing it.

SweetProdigy: Okay, then I don't get the **point**, I don't get the **hint**, I get the idea.

FearMySpear: Whatever, this is getting very annoying and repetitive.

SilverStallion: Guys, let's just go back to normal conversation where we use shortened words and u instead of you and use incorrect grammar.

FearMySpear: Hey, Ma Chao, how come u named urself silver stallion and not stallion fury?

SilverStallion: Cuz silverstallion gots alliteration!

SweetProdigy: Gots alliteration? Seriously Ma Chao! Mine fits because I'm sweet! I'm smart, a pretty boy, AND an awesome fighter! I'm among Jessica's favorites!

SilverStallion: I don't care bout grammar!

SweetProdigy: Oh yeah, now that I'm here… We need names for: Yue Ying, Taishi Ci, Gan Ning, Ling Tong, Zhou Tai, Pang De, Lu Meng, Guan Yu, Zhang Fei, Huang Zhong, Guan Ping, Wei Yan, Pang Tong, Xing Cai, Zhang Liao, Sun Ce, Sun Quan, Huang Gai, Yuan Shao, Zuo Ci, Meng Huo, and Zhu Rong!

FearMySpear: It's not as though our author can't think up names for all of them; she just decided to allow readers to think of them and get cameo appearances!

SilverStallion: Try not to give too many names, give other people a chance to get an appearance!

SweetProdigy: You're limited to 3 names per review! Mainly because people with lots of ideas will give the author more reviews.

FearMySpear: If more than one name is suggested, than the author will either pick the name she likes best or choose a name-out-of-the-hat type of thing.

FearMySpear: We apologize if your suggested name is not chosen!

SweetProdigy: That was weird.

SupahGenius123: Hi.

SilverStallion: Hi, Sima Yi!

SupahGenius123: Da srver wnt dwn wile I wuz on da comp nd it scrwd up my comp.

SweetProdigy: Oh yeah! Zhuge Liang told me about that! How are you on now?

SupahGenius123: Im usng my cel fone, but my bil gts hi so I need 2 tipe fast. If ne1 asks, tel thm.

SupahGenius123 has logged off.

SleepingDragon264 has logged in.

SleepingDragon264: Hello, Jiang Wei, Zhao Yun, Ma Chao. Sorry I was out of character when the fangirls arrived. It was for the purpose of everybody screaming.

FearMySpear: Am I the only 1 whos username doesn't start with an s?

SilverStallion: Kung Ming, didn't ur comp crash? How can u still type with full words.

SleepingDragon264: I type fast.

SweetProdigy: Aw geez, I would never be able to type so quickly on my cell phone!

SleepingDragon264: I have a good cell phone. It's easy to type!

SleepingDragon264: But I can't waste my money on phone bills all the time, especially when I spend the time chatting to friends.

SleepingDragon264 has logged off.

CowPee has logged in.

CowPee: Im lucky I have a laptop as well. I don't have to type with my cell!

FearMySpear: But ur unlucky that u still have CowPee as ur username.

SilverStallion: Y don't u change it? I did.

CowPee: The author has too much power. She wont let me.

CowPee: I don't get how these people find this amusing! I think it's **point**less, and a great waste of time.

CowPee: Also, it's very cruel to people who get victimized, like me. The author should take this **hint** and fix her mistakes.

DWFan has logged in.

DWFan: Alright, Cao Pi! We get the **point**!

FearMySpear: We kind of made an agreement to not use **point** in that way.

DWFan: Why? What's the **point**? I don't see any **point** to stop using **point** this way. It's already become a habit! It'll be annoying if I mean to say **point**, but have to change it to **hint** because of what you guys prefer.

SweetProdigy: Well, **hint** is also kind of overused as well.

DWFan: What? So you don't want me saying **point** OR **hint** anymore! That's crazy! I don't get the **point** of not saying **point** as that part of speech!

SilverStallion: Ur just doing that on purpose now, huh?

DWFan: Exactly. See? Ma Chao gets the **point**!

SweetProdigy: Hey wait, how is your computer fine? I thought everyone's computer crashed with the server!

DWFan: Not everyone's. The two fangirl guests managed to escape without problem, and I being the author, made sure my computer was fine.

CowPee: That was lucky.

DWFan: Well, I don't see how ur fine, actually. Ur computer crashed along with Zhuge Liang's, Liu Bei's, Lu Xun's, Xiahou Dun's, and Sima Yi's.

CowPee: I have a laptop, too.

DWFan: That was lucky.

DWFan: Oh, speaking of lucky, Xiahou Ayumi has managed to tie Xiahou Dun up with a rope.

CowPee: That's not lucky!

DWFan: Well, not to Xiahou Dun, but to Xiahou Ayumi, definitely lucky.

Xiahou Ayumi has logged in.

Xiahou Ayumi: Yes! I am really lucky!

Xiahou Ayumi has logged off.

BluePheonix has logged in.

DWFan: Hi!

BluePheonix: Hi!

DWFan: Thanks for helping me out with a name for Jiang Wei!

BluePheonix: No problem!

SweetProdigy: Wait, what?

DWFan: She thought up your username.

SweetProdigy: No, I did!

BluePheonix: Actually, it was me.

SweetProdigy: What are you talking about?

DWFan: Let me clarify this for you, Jiang Wei. I created this fanfiction, right?

SweetProdigy: Yeah?

DWFan: BluePheonix sent me a review informing me of a username that would fit you. So I though, "Hey, what the hey?" and you were allowed to use the chatroom.

SweetProdigy: I think I get it.

DWFan: Basically, your thoughts are not yours.

SilverStallion: Don't put it like that. It's kind of scary if you think of it that way.

BluePheonix: Why is this fourth wall thing broken so much! It's getting old!

DWFan: Meh, that's what happens when one has a weird sense of humor.

FearMySpear: Question! Why are we not shortening words and stuff?

SweetProdigy: I guess because she just isn't in the mood tonight?

DWFan: You are correct! Today I wasn't too much in the mood.

SilverStallion: Right, now that your midterms are done, did you get any of your grades back?

DWFan: Yeah.

CowPee: Well…?

DWFan: I did OK on the English one, and terrible on the Spanish one, but I didn't get my science, American history or algebra grades back.

FearMySpear: Well…?

DWFan: I got an 83 on my Spanish midterm (I was so depressed!) and a 95 on my English midterm. I can't believe, I screwed up on 3 of the multiple choice questions! Not only that, but for the vocab section, absurd and incomprehensible had pretty much the same definitions! I had it right the first time, but I was like, "Huh, my instincts are usually wrong." I switched them around and got them wrong!

CowPee: Cheer up, those grades aren't that bad!

DWFan: I'm not getting high honors this marking period… I have an 87.2 average! ARGH!

SweetProdigy: C'mon, they aren't so bad! It's not like you got a 70 or lower!

DWFan: I'm freaking out about the math midterm because I saw that Makaila had a 70 on hers, and she's one of the smart kids! I can only cheer myself up with the knowledge that my English teacher is planning to recommend me for Level 1 English.

SilverStallion: Congrats!

DWFan: I'm going to try my hardest to get high honors for the remaining two marking periods, and try really hard in high school too!

DWFan: Anyway, g2g!

DWFan has logged off.

SweetProdigy: She should have studied harder for her Spanish midterm though.

SilverStallion: Lucky for her, only math REALLY counts for placement. The rest of the midterms are really just to prepare for high school midterms.

CowPee: She's probably not getting into Level 1 Spanish, though. She's not good with second languages. (A/N: Jeez! It's hard talking about myself like this!)

FearMySpear: B's aren't that bad! With a B, she can still get second or first honors!

CowPee: Wait… Why are we not being funny?

SilverStallion: Right now, Jessica is feeling sorry for herself. Plus she's tired. She just doesn't feel like being funny.

SweetProdigy: Too bad she reminded herself of midterms by writing this down.

FearMySpear: She shouldn't have written these chapters during midterms, though. It interrupted her studies.

SilverStallion: No it didn't! She never studies!

CowPee: It's surprising though. I remember when she got a 108 on a math quiz. The highest grade possible for that quiz, AND the highest grade in her grade, AND, she didn't even study!

SweetProdigy: 108? How's that possible?

CowPee: She got every question right, plus the bonus, and then she used the add five points to your quiz coupon thing. It was in fourth grade though.

FearMySpear: That's still good.

SilverStallion: How do we know all this?

SweetProdigy: Because she's speaking through us!

SilverStallion: Heh?

CowPee: She's the author. Give you a **hint**?

FearMySpear: Oh god, don't get started again.

CowPee: Oh, and also in fourth grade, she got the Young Author's Award! I'm only saying this because Jessica decided to show off right now!

SweetProdigy: That's cool. She should get started on a REAL fanfiction. That way, she could practice her talents.

SilverStallion: Whatever! I just want this fanfiction to become funny again! This is supposed to be humor!!!

FearMySpear: I think the author has reached her terminal boredomosity.

SweetProdigy: Wah?

FearMySpear: You know how terminal velocity is when the air resistance is the same as the object's velocity? Well, in this case, her lack of ideas is the same as her boredom.

CowPee: Not funny. Try again.

FearMySpear: I wasn't trying to be funny!

CowPee: Wait, I'm the only person of Wei here! You guys are from Shu, and Jessica is a Shu-ist! Not only that, but Sima Yi already left! Jeez!

SilverStallion: This chapter is ending very soon, so I don't see why more characters should be brought in.

SweetProdigy: I'm bored. Buh-bye!

SilverStallion: I'm leaving too!

CowPee: It's not like I'm gonna stick around either!

SweetProdigy has logged off.

SilverStallion has logged off.

BluePheonix has logged off.

CowPee has logged off.

FearMySpear: I'm alone?

FearMySpear: Wait, isn't this what happened in the first three chapters? This isn't funny! This better not happen again!

FearMySpear: Why am I talking to myself? And it's not like I have any power over the author anyway.

FearMySpear: Ah, whatever, I'm outta here.

FearMySpear: Actually, I think this is the most Jessica ever decided to write?

FearMySpear: Well, it is completely random, and the other chapters did have a lot of shortened words and such.

FearMySpear: Why am I still talking?

FearMySpear has logged off.

Tomboy147 has logged in.

Tomboy147: Wait, I'm supposed to log in next chapter? Sorry!

Tomboy147 has logged off.

* * *

Alright, I'm very sorry about this fourth wall breaking thing. In fact, if you think about it, the wall was never built in the first place. Well, at least not in this case. This being a chatroom thing, I feel that this wall is broken beyond repair, so I'm very sorry to all you wall lovers. If you really like walls that much, then visit the Great Wall of China! It's a nice wall!


	8. Chapter 8 Character Listing

Perhaps you kept up with the character names and such, but it was difficult for me to have to keep remembering them. And I had to read through my past chapters if I wanted to find out a character name. In my annoyance, I created this so that I could go straight here to find out who should log in. Please keep sending ideas! There's a reason why I haven't updated for a while.

* * *

Character Listing:

DWFan – Me!

Hermioneee147 – Still me

Tomboy147 – Sun Shang Xiang

FunWithFire – Lu Xun

SleepingDragon264 – Zhuge Liang

BladeoVirtue – Liu Bei

Gracefulfans – Xiao Qiao

Zhouyu986 – Zhou Yu

Horsepower – Ma Chao

SilverStallion – Ma Chao

FearMySpear – Zhao Yun

HeroOfChaos – Cao Cao

HeavenRulez – Zhang Jiao

Foodisgood – Xu Zhu

QiaoBeauty – Da Qiao

FancyFlute – Zhen Ji

CowPee – Cao Pi

MightisRight – Lu Bu

DanceofDeath – Diao Chan

Tigahsrool – Sun Jian

DongZhou – Dong Zhou

Randomuser – Bob Smith

TrueStrength – Xu Huang

OneEyedWonder – Xiahou Dun

ArcherBoy333 – Xiahou Yuan

MaleBeauty – Zhang He

CaoRen – Cao Ren

SupahGenius123 – Sima Yi

Baldbodyguard – Dian Wei

RandomMessenger (2, 3, 4…) – Random Messengers

Xiahou Ayumi – Xiahou Ayumi

Kick-It-Aus Style-Mal's – Kick-It-Aus Style-Mal's

BluePheonix – BluePheonix/Cao Ang

SweetProdigy – Jiang Wei

LittleConquerer – Sun Ce

Jinglebellspirate – Gan Ning

Dragon Maiden – Minako the Dragon Maiden of DW

* * *

That's all for now! I will continue to change this as additional characters are used, and yes, this counts as the update of the week. Toodloo!


	9. Chapter 9

ARGH! Sorry I haven't updated for so long, but I have excuses! I got sick with a temperature of 102 at one point, I had a history quiz (hard), a Spanish quiz (Are you sure it wasn't a test?) and I... um... forgot. Well I'm so so so so sorry! I'll try to be better with updates from now on. (NO PROMISES!)

And besides that, I still need more ideas. Not names, but ideas! But then again, I need name ideas too. I wrote this whole thing without a clue what to write about, and it came out really crappy, so sorry again! I know I had two weeks to think about ideas, but I suck at thinking, but I'm only thirteen! Sorry again!

* * *

BladeoVirtue has logged in.

SleepingDragon264 has logged in.

Beautifulbeard has logged in.

FearMySpear has logged in.

SilverStallion has logged in.

SweetProdigy has logged in.

Beautifulbeard: Zhang Fei's not gonna make it on. He's drunk.

Beautifulbeard: No wait, unconscious. He's gonna have one bad hangover tomorrow.

BladeoVirtue: Man, that last battle ended pretty badly.

SilverStallion: Tell me about it. Wei really kicked our butts.

FearMySpear: I'm sorry, my lord! My spear and strength weren't enough 2 stop them.

BladeoVirtue: Meh, it's okay.

SweetProdigy: What do you mean, we had a battle? Why doesn't anyone tell me these things? And Ma Chao, you promised you'd tell me every time there was a battle!

SilverStallion: Oops, my bad. And I didn't know til the last min, so it's not like I had the time.

SleepingDragon264: Anyway, I died from illness, Guan Yu's been dead, same with Zhang Fei, and did we forget how Liu Bei died in Yi Ling?

FearMySpear: How come u can still talk if ur dead?

SleepingDragon264: …

SleepingDragon264: Ask Koei?

SilverStallion: Okay…

SleepingDragon264: Well, I'm going to terrorize Sima Yi; he knows I died.

SleepingDragon264 has logged out.

SweetProdigy: Okay…

SupahGenius123 has logged in.

HeroOfChaos has logged in.

SupahGenius123: Mwahahahaha! Zhuge Liang is finally dead! I am the smartest mind under the heavens! And I finally fixed my computer! I helped repair Cao Pi's computer as well.

SupahGenius123: You cannot prevail against my genius mind! I will – brb, someone's at the door.

SupahGenius123 has logged out.

Beautifulbeard: We can guess who that is.

HeroOfChaos: Who was that guy?

BladeoVirtue: Ur strategist? Who else?

HeroOfChaos: Ur alive? I thought u died at Yi Ling!

BladeoVirtue: Some people can still talk even so.

HeroOfChaos: That… is creepy.

SilverStallion: I know, right?

SweetProdigy: Wait, r u typing from the Nine Springs or something?

BladeoVirtue: No, there's no connection there. And I'm a game character, so I can live even though I'm dead! If that makes any sense.

FearMySpear: I'm sorry 2 say, I don't get it.

ShuMessenger has logged in.

ShuMessenger: My lord! Sima Yi has outran our cavalry unit, screaming, "I thought he was dead! I'm being haunted! I see dead people! Help me!"

BladeoVirtue: Well, then pursue him!

ShuMessenger: But he's way ahead of us!

HeroOfChaos: Wait, what's so weird about this?

ShuMessenger: He's on foot.

HeroOfChaos: Holy Jeezy Lordy! Which direction?

ShuMessenger: He is heading east!

SweetProdigy: Wait… whose side are you on?

ShuMessenger: Oops.

HeroOfChaos has logged out.

BladeoVirtue: Ah jeez, we missed this chance.

ShuMessenger: I'm sorry, my lord.

BladeoVirtue: It's fine. At that speed, he probably would have escaped anyway.

SleepingDragon264 has logged in.

SleepingDragon264: That was classic.

MaleBeauty has logged in.

MaleBeauty: Hello, everyone! I m Zhang He, the beautiful general of Hejian!

Beautifulbeard: Oh, snap.

ShuMessenger: Queer.

ShuMessenger has logged out.

MaleBeauty: WHAAAAAAAT?!?!?!?

MaleBeauty has logged out.

SweetProdigy: I'm going to miss him.

FearMySpear: Once you set of the rage of the Zhang He, it won't be satisfied until you are shred into tiny bits.

SilverStallion: He was a good man.

BladeoVirtue: Okay…

SleepingDragon264: So… Does anyone have anything interesting to talk about?

Beautifulbeard: Srry, nothing. Unless u want me to describe how disgusting it was to see Zhang Fei down 5 pots of wine.

FearMySpear: *shudders* Plz spare me the details.

BladeoVirtue: I don't like being dead…

Beautifulbeard: Me and Zhang Fei have been dead longer than u.

SleepingDragon264: Zhang Fei and I.

Beautifulbeard: I DON'T CARE ABOUT GRAMMAR!

SweetProdigy: Don't have a conniption.

SilverStallion: What's a conniption?

SleepingDragon264: A conniption is a tantrum, or a fit, or scene.

SilverStallion: I see.

FearMySpear: Ooh! Want to know something cool?

Beautifulbeard: Sure.

FearMySpear: I read the LIU BEI manual, by super sailor vegeta-sei, and I learned that Liu Bei didn't have facial hair.

BladeoVirtue: I don't?!?!

SweetProdigy: Why were you reading fanfictions?

FearMySpear: I felt like it.

SilverStallion: Oh boy! Is there a MA CHAO manual?

FearMySpear: No.

SilverStallion: Aw…

SleepingDragon264: LIU BEI manual?

FearMySpear: It's a fan**fiction**. Liu Bei doesn't really come with a manual. I think.

SweetProdigy: Zhao Yun, you don't even have to doubt the fact that he came without a booklet of instructions.

BladeoVirtue: Actually…

Beautifulbeard:?!?!

BladeoVirtue: I was joking.

SilverStallion: Okay… Well, did you know Sun Quan has grey eyes and a red beard?

FearMySpear: He does?

SilverStallion: I think so. I read it in RoTK, but I can't really remember.

SweetProdigy: You got distracted by horses when you were going to kill Cao Cao.

Beautifulbeard: I let Cao Cao escape because he reminded me of the kindness he gave me.

SleepingDragon264: I saw that coming because the stars said that Cao Cao wasn't supposed to die yet.

BladeoVirtue: This is boring. Why are we stating random facts?

SweetProdigy: Maybe it's because we can't think of anything better to do… *looks at Jessica*

DWFan has logged in.

DWFan: Didn't we say something about breaking the fourth wall?

FearMySpear: Actually, it's way broken now that you brought reviewers in.

DWFan: Good point. Now cya, I don't want 2 b here right now. Too much stuff 2 do.

SilverStallion: Is it cuz u haven't updated 4 2 weeks?

DWFan: Shut up, I have excuses 4 that.

DWFan has logged out.

Beautifulbeard: Wow, 2 weeks.

MaleBeauty has logged in.

MaleBeauty: I know! What has she been doing?

BladeoVirtue: Although I don't really care what about what happens 2 u, what were u doing? What took u so long?

MaleBeauty: I was cleaning blood off my claws.

SweetProdigy: !

BladeoVirtue: I gotta pay 4 those messengers u know! They already have enough problems when they can b decapitated if their message is bad. They get beheaded 2 show independence.

FearMySpear: Just a question, but how does that show independence?

BladeoVirtue: No idea. Any ideas, Zhuge Liang?

SleepingDragon264: Don't ask me, ask whoever thought of it.

SilverStallion: I thought u were smart.

SleepingDragon264: Just because I don't know the answer doesn't mean I'm not smart. I don't have to know everything to be smart.

MaleBeauty: Does it really matter? It shows that they were angry enough at the message to need 2 kill someone. And if it's a good message, the guy gets richly rewarded anyway.

Beautifulbeard: This chapter really sucks. What happened 2 the funny stuff?

SweetProdigy: An update is an update. Let's just get the chapter up so that Jessica can be spared the hard work of writing without a good idea.

Beautifulbeard: If people send in ideas. *cough*

SilverStallion: Man, she sucks at thinking up ideas.

FearMySpear: …

FearMySpear: Where do ideas come from anyway?

SleepingDragon264: From your brain.

FearMySpear: I know that!

MaleBeauty: Some people r just brimming with ideas, and they just come.

Tomboy147: Sorry I'm late!

BladeoVirtue: Where were u? U log on 2 early in chapter 7, and then u come way late now.

Tomboy147: I said sorry! I was talking with the Qiaos and lost track of time.

BladeoVirtue: K

LittleConquerer: Sorry I'm late! What'd I miss?

SleepingDragon264: Nothing really. We talked about random stuff.

LittleConquerer: That's boring.

Jinglebellspirate has logged in.

Jinglebellspirate: Yo! How is everyone?

SilverStallion: We're fine.

CowPee has logged in.

FearMySpear: Oh boy.

CowPee: Mwahaha! They pronounced my name right in 6!

MaleBeauty: Ur user is still CowPee.

CowPee: Shut up!

SleepingDragon264: I think they're still saying Sun Quan's name wrong. I can't remember. But I remember while I was playing Dynasty Warriors 5 Empires, they pronounce it, Kwan, instead of how it should be, Chuan.

Jinglebellspirate: Whatever, he's still Sun Quan.

LittleConquerer: And he's still my younger brother.

Tomboy147: And he still the 1 who listened 2 Zhou Yu's suggestion 2 marry me off 2 a 50 year old. At least I'm happy now, but it was kinda mean.

BladeoVirtue: And he's the guy who listened to Zhou Yu a lot and tried 2 kill me (under Zhou Yu's advice). Luckily Zhuge Liang is on my side.

SleepingDragon264: You're welcome. But I hate to say that Jiang Wei's gonna struggle to keep Shu alive with Liu Chan as the leader.

FearMySpear: Man, many people keep telling me I shouldn't have saved him.

SilverStallion: U shouldn't have!

BladeoVirtue: Hey, this is my son ur talking about.

Tomboy147: And mine, and u do not wanna mess with me.

LittleConquerer: She's right. Don't mess with her.

Jinglebellspirate: Wu lasted longer that Wei and Shu!

CowPee: But of course, that's only cuz Sima Yi's family made Wei into Jing. So technically, we won.

SweetProdigy: Who said anything about winning? He just said that he lasted longer.

CowPee: You lasted the shortest.

BladeoVirtue: …

Zhouyu986 has logged in.

Zhouyu986: How is everyone?

FunWithFire has logged in.

FunWithFire: FIRE!!!

Jinglebellspirate: Hi, how's it going?

FunWithFire: Still can't decide upon Ling Tong's name.

LittleConquerer: Oh I see.

Silentsamurai has logged in.

Silentsamurai: …

FearMySpear: Hi, Zhou Tai.

Silentsamurai: … Hi.

Jinglebellspirate: …

Jinglebellspirate: Ooh, g2g. Hopefully, Ling Tong'll be here next chapter.

Jinglebellspirate has logged off.

SilverStallion: Samurai?

SweetProdigy: Why samurai? That's Japanese, not Chinese.

Silentsamurai: … Don't ask. But it does fit nicely.

FunWithFire: It's true.

Zhouyu986: Why is conversation so dull today?

SleepingDragon264: We are all running out of ideas.

Tomboy147: Tell me about it.

BladeoVirtue: U died at age 36, somewhat after the battle of Chi Bi.

Zhouyu986: Why does my death matter?

BladeoVirtue: It doesn't.

LittleConquerer: Zhou Yu's my best friend/sworn brother. It matters!

Beautifulbeard: Srry, I was afk. What'd I miss?

MaleBeauty: Nothing, really.

OneEyedWonder has logged in.

CowPee: Hi, Xiahou Dun. Aren't u trapped at that fangirl's house?

OneEyedWonder: She let me user her computer.

SweetProdigy: Oh, that's cool.

OneEyedWonder: But I'm still tied to the chair.

SilverStallion: And that's not cool.

Xiahou Ayumi has logged in.

MaleBeauty has logged out.

Xiahou Ayumi: Hiya! What's up?

OneEyedWonder: Ello, captor.

Tomboy147: How are you staying so calm?

OneEyedWonder: I'm already here, so it's not like it can get any worse.

super sailor vegeta-sei has logged in.

BluePheonix has logged in.

Dragon Maiden has logged in.

OneEyedWonder: And I was wrong.

OneEyedWonder has logged out.

BladeoVirtue: Too bad he's still tied 2 the chair, huh?

FearMySpear: Unfortunate.

Dragon Maiden: Hey, Zhao Yun, Little Dragon, Dragon Maiden… What a pair, huh? *raises eyebrows suggestively*

FearMySpear: Ooh, yeah, well, I g2g.

FearMySpear has logged in.

super sailor vegeta-sei: What's up?

FunWithFire: *starts hyperventilating*

super sailor vegeta-sei: Calm down, I'm not gonna do anything.

Dragon Maiden: Man, he left.

SweetProdigy: Why do you guys always come at the end of a chapter?

Xiahou Ayumi: Because most of you guys start logging off as soon as we get here.

BluePheonix: Oh, Jiang Wei, I think ur so cute!

SweetProdigy: Thanks? Oh look, is it… 5:04 already? G2g!

SweetProdigy has logged off.

FunWithFire: *still hyperventilating* I feel dizzy…

FunWithFire has logged out.

LittleConquerer: …

Zhouyu986: Hold on a sec, afk

SleepingDragon264: He probably passed out.

CowPee: Ya think?

SilverStallion: That's why I don't like hyperventilating.

SleepingDragon264: Remember that time when all your horses and supplies for riding and taking care of horses disappeared? You hyperventilated and fainted then.

SilverStallion: That I did. Everyone thought it was hilarious.

Beautifulbeard: Sorry, I was afk again. What'd I miss?

Zhouyu986: Lu Xun's passed out in front of the computer.

BladeoVirtue: Not much.

SleepingDragon264: What do you mean not much? Some Dynasty Warriors fans have logged in.

Beautifulbeard: Well, since so much goes on while I'm not around, I'll cya guys latah.

Beautifulbeard has logged out.

Silentsamurai: Sorry, I fell asleep. I should take a nap.

Silentsamurai has logged off.

Tomboy147: I'm kinda bored. Cya!

Tomboy147 has logged off.

LittleConquerer: Wait for me!

LittleConquerer has logged off.

BladeoVirtue has logged off.

SleepingDrsgon264: I'll go see what Yue Ying is up to.

SleepingDragon264 has logged off.

SilverStallion: Oh noes! My horse is running off!

SilverStallion has logged off.

CowPee: What r u talking about? All ur horses r ok- ohh…

CowPee has logged off.

super sailor vegeta-sei: and… they're all gone

Dragon Maiden: Aw…

Dragon Maiden has logged off.

super sailor vegeta-sei: Well, I have no reason to stick around.

super sailor vegeta-sei has logged off.

Xiahou Ayumi: Oop! Xiahou Dun escaped, but he'll be back in a moment…

Xiahou Ayumi has logged off.

BluePheonix has logged off.


	10. Chapter 10 Notice!

I forgot to make Sun Ce actually log in last chapter! He just suddenly started talking. This is kind of creepy, in my opinion, as I'm very sure he didn't log in before you guys started reading. Anyways, sorry for slow updates! I'm just busy and lazy and stuff. In the beginning, I updated like 3 chapters in a week, but that's kind of over now. And the first few chapters sucked anyway.

So my brother got this new ROM hack thing, and I'm going to be unable to go on my computer less often, meaning slower update. Also, now that we've progressed further into the year, I have tons more of homework. Also, I have stuff on Naviance to work on for my course requests for next year. This sucks because I'm not even going to high school in America, seeing how I'll be moving to Canada next year.

So I'm sorry about that, but people who would like to get more involved in this chat room, then woo hoo! I got good news for those people. If you send me chapters, I'll see if I like them, possibly combine chapters, and add or delete stuff so that I feel more involved. Remember that this thing is rated K+, so yeah.

If you want, you can check my reviews and add ideas from other people. But if you do, please ask me first if you want to add new characters in. We still have all these people waiting for new usernames, and I try to find usernames that really appeal to me and make sense. Unfortunately, the former is something even I don't fulfill, but either way, ask me first.

So I'm sorry if you were anticipating some new funny chapter, but I'm always updating other stuff! Okay, not always, but I am working on another story right now. And even if you guys start sending in chapters, I might create my own chapters occasionally. So, thank you guys for reading this far! I appreciate it a lot, and I hope you guys continue to give me support and review. Definitely review.

On a side note, Xiahou Dun briefly escaped from Xiahou Ayumi, but was captured again when he was lured by eyeball dumplings. Just like the time he got distracted by eyeball dumplings and went too far into enemy lines. Then he got ambushed and Liu Bei ruined Zhuge Liang's evil moment when he told Zhuge Liang that the eyeball dumplings were delicious and that he should try some.

So once again, sorry and thank you at the same time, and I hope you have a good… rest of February and a good March. I can't wait to see your ideas!

~Hermioneee147


	11. Chapter 11

Whoo! I'm writin' this on my new-ish computer! But... It's a Vista! T_T It's nice that it's fast and all... But it's lacking, and plus, I don't have Word installed on this thing. So... Notepad it is.

So, I haven't updated in a while, but that's because I've been busy. (Actually... Why am I still doing this thing? Oh well.) Even if it's the summer, my mom wants me to study algebra... I had an online summer course to complete too. I didn't fail a class! I took it so I wouldn't have to do the course over the school year. Of course I'm failing it because I'd so rather draw, sing, play video games, obsess over certain Nico singers... cough. Anyways! Here's a long overdue update.

Dude, I have no idea how the number sign problem happened. Whatever. I'm hoping that I managed to fix it.

BladeoVirtue has logged in.

SleepingDragon264 has logged in.

BeautifulBeard has logged in.

BladeoVirtue: ...

SleepingDragon264: ...

BeautifulBeard: ...

Dzetsu has logged in.

Dzetsu: ...

Dzetsu: Well? Say something!

SleepDragon264: You have betrayed us...

Dzetsu: Uh-oh.

BladeoVirtue: You've moved to those stupid voice synthesizer things!

BeautifulBeard: And that farming game!

Dzetsu: Hey, whoa! I haven't played Harvest Moon for 3 weeks!

SleepingDragon264: What's with your new username?

Dzetsu: Uh-oh... Um...

BladeoVirtue: Well?

Dzetsu: Err... It's also my Nicovideo account... As I uh... am planning to try to become a Nico singer... um...

BeautifulBeard: I knew it! You're more interested in Vocaloids.

Dzetsu: Eh heh heh... Yeah... Well, actually, Nico singers. Like clear and あにま and 蛇足... But um... Vocaloids are cool too...

SleepingDragon264: That's not the point. Our point is that YOU, the author, and losing interest in us, the... uh... warriors. Characters.

Dzetsu: Can't argue with the truth... Heh heh?

Fearmyspear has logged in.

SweetProdigy has logged in.

Horsepower has logged in.

Horsepower: grah! im gonna kill u!

SweetProdigy: Whoa! Ma Chao, calm down! If you kill the author, then that automatically gets rid of all updates for the future!

Fearmyspear: And why are you using your old account?

Horsepower: i forgot my pass... TT_TT

SweetProdigy: Eh? It's not the same as your other user?

Horsepower: Ugh. No...

Dzetsu: Heh. Being the author, I know all your passwords! No wait, I forgot a lot of them since I moved on to Vocaloids.

Horsepower: Do u remember mine?

Dzetsu: Yes.

Horsepower: really?

Dzetsu: Yes.

Horsepower: can u tell me?

Dzetsu: No.

Horsepower: Thank yo- JERK!

Dzetsu: No one pays me to be nice.

Dzetsu: Actually, scratch that, no one pays me.

SweetProdigy: What the heck is a Vocaloid anyway?

Dzetsu: ggrks

BeautifulBeard: Whut?

Dzetsu: It's a vocaloid song.

Horsepower: GRRRRAAAAaHHHHHH!

Dzetsu: AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

SweetProdigy: What does it stand for?

Dzetsu: Dunno.

SweetProdigy: ...

Dzetsu: ... :)

SweetProdigy: ...

Dzetsu: Um... Well... It's technically also called "Go Google It."

Fearmyspear: Stop making references. No one will know what you are talking about.

Dzetsu: Sorry.

Fearmyspear: Hey, on a side note, has anyone seen my spear?

Dzetsu: Oh, I saw this fangirl running off with it.

Fearmyspear: oh. thanks.

Fearmyspear: Wait, why didn't you stop her?

Dzetsu: And get off my chair? Yeah right!

BladeoVirtue: Oh my lord, you are lazy.

SleepingDragon264: I agree.

Dzetsu: Well, whatever. I have some Nico covers of Vocaloid songs that I want to listen to right now, chumps.

Horsepower: i hate u

Dzetsu: Feelings mutual! 3

Dzetsu has logged out.

Horsepower: ...

Horsepower: does she really hate me? she doesnt really hate me rite? people cant hate people like me right? who would hate me?

SweetProdigy: My god, why are you freaking out so much?

Horsepower: bad stuff happens 2 people she hates

Horsepower: remember cowpee

BeautifulBeard: Heh. That was funny.

CowPee has logged in.

CowPee: Someone's talking about me.

BladeoVirtue: Whoa. That's weird.

SleepingDragon264: Forgive me for inquiring... Why the heck are you still CowPee? You're allowed to change it now! Ms. Author has gotten bored of us!

CowPee: What? Seriously?

Fearmyspear: Yes

CowPee: She lost interest in us? That sucks!

BladeoVirtue: She's into Pokemon, Vocaloids, Utatte mita, Nicolai, Hiwaily*2, Smiley*2, Harvest Moon, etc.

CowPee: Whut?

BladeoVirtue: nvm

Fearmyspear: Hey, seriously... Has anyone seen my spear?

Dragon Maiden has logged in.

Dragon Maiden: Why hello there, Zhao Yun.

Fearmyspear: Uh... hi?

HorsePower: I know you! You're that fangirl.

Dragon Maiden: Thank you. I appreciate it that you remember me.

Fearmyspear: Uh-oh. Fangirl? A fan of me? I have a bad feeling.

SleepingDragon264: Oh... You think that she...

Fearmyspear: Yeah...

BeautifulBeard: ?

Dragon Maiden: If I can assume that you are thinking what I am thinking...

Fearmyspear: Probably.

Fearmyspear: ...

Fearmyspear: ...

Fearmyspear: GIMME MAH SPEAR BACK!

Dragon Maiden: Date me for a week, and your beloved spear shall become yours once again!

Fearmyspear: BLACKMAIL?

CowPee: Ha. Sucks 2 b u.

HorsePower: watcha gonna do?

SweetProdigy: Yes, Zhao Yun, what are you going to do?

BladeoVirtue: What are you gonna do?

Fearmyspear: FINE!

BeautifulBeard: That was fast. No inner turmoil or whatever?

Fearmyspear: I luvs mah spear!

CowPee: Ookay. Creepy.

Dragon Maiden: Woohoo! Score! Alrighty then! Get over here NAO!

Fearmyspear: Yes ma'am.

Fearmyspear has logged out.

Dragon Maiden: Man, I feel like singing and dancing now! I WIN! I DA WINNAH!

SweetProdigy: Um... excuse me...

Dragon Maiden: AGH! You people are still here! ABUNAI! ABUNAI!

Dragon Maiden has logged out.

BladeoVirtue: Abunai?

SleepingDragon264: Japanese for "dangerous."

BladeoVirtue: Oh. HEY! AUTHOR! You're Chinese, not Japanese! Don't add random Japanese in!

BladeoVirtue: I'm soo madd... Ugh. I was her favourite character, and now she barely remembers me! Argh!

BladeoVirtue has logged out.

SweetProdigy: Hey, Ma Chao! Wanna go stalk Zhao Yun and that fangirl?

HorsePower: i dont like using da word "stalk" but why not?

HorsePower: maybe we can help the luv hur hur

SweetProdigy: Err... Whatever.

SweetProdigy has logged out.

HorsePower: wait up!

HorsePower has logged out.

CowPee: Seeing my own username is making me want to kill the author. Farewell!

CowPee has logged out.

BeautifulBeard: I'm guessing that the chapter is coming to a close, for everyone's logging out.

SleepingDragon264: You know, the author hates typing my username over and over again. Eventually, there's going to be a misspelling, or 246 instead of 264.

BeautifulBeard: Hey... Are we the only ones left?

SleepingDragon264: Your assumption is absolutely correct.

BeautifulBeard: Oh... Okay. I'm going now.

SleepingDragon264: Alright then. See you.

BeautifulBeard has logged out.

SleepingDragon264 has logged out.

* * *

Here's an example of the complete horror that had occured.

#B#e#a#u#t#i#f#u#l#B#e#a#r#d# #h#a#s# #l#o#g#g#e#d# #o#u#t#.##

#S#l#e#e#p#i#n#g#D#r#a#g#o#n#2#6#4# #h#a#s# #l#o#g#g#e#d# #o#u#t#.#


	12. Oh my god I updated!

I've… I've gotten boring… I didn't notice at first, but someone mentioned it in a review, and I read my work. Well, the first chapters still suck, but the middle turned out to be the best part… The ending is focusing too much on me as a person failing her life. So… There is a reason why crack is addicting. I'm going to try my hardest to make this chat room make no sense again!

Oh my god, I can't believe this. I have to read my old chapters and learn from my self… AGH!

Oh, and to answer a previous question… Dzetsu is me, yes. You should look at context clues next time and find that out yourself. I'm pretty sure I at least implied that it was me in the text, if not plainly stated it…

There may be errors. It was a night time, one shot attempt.

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Beautifulbeard has logged in.

BigFKNBlade has logged in.

Beautifulbeard: Guan Ping…

BigFKNBlade: were online dad. no names plz

Beautifulbeard: C'mon. This fanfiction is rated K+. Kids can read this too.

BigFKNBlade: so? they dont have 2 get the implied humor. and they can always read T rated 1s 2

Beautifulbeard: Whut? Numbers in sentences?

BigFKNBlade: OMG ur so far behind pops! the #s stand 4 words

SleepingDragon264 has logged in.

SleepingDragon264: Author, you're failing.

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Hermioneee147: SHUT UP!

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Beautifulbeard: Why would you do that? Numbers are numbers! Words are words! Type properly young man!

BigFKNBlade: as if ur grammar is good. u forgot the comma after properly

SleepingDragon264: Don't make them give us a grammar lecture, Author.

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Hermioneee147: FINE!

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Beautifulbeard: Whatever! Grammer sucks! D:

SleepingDragon264: Making him diss your lecture isn't funny, Author.

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Hermioneee147: ARGH! Shut up, Zhuge Liang! I get it!

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BigFKNBlade: its grammar, not grammer.

Beautifulbeard: … Don't make me ground you.

BigFKNBlade: hey! u cant do that!

Beautifulbeard: Oh yeah? I'm your DAD!

BigFKNBlade: ur not mah real father! TT^TT

BigFKNBlade has logged out.

Beautifulbeard: Oh, crud. I think I made him cry again.

Beautifulbeard has logged out.

SleepingDragon264: Chinese warriors are hopeless nowadays…

SweetProdigy has logged in.

SweetProdigy: Not me, right? I mean, I'm still, like, totally awesome, right? I'm smart and I'm strong and I'm a pretty boy! Right?

SleepingDragon264: Oh boy… Um… How do I break this to you?

SweetProdigy: HUH? D:

Horsepower has logged in.

Fearmyspear has logged in.

Horsepower: DONT DO IT!

Fearmyspear: Please don't break the truth to him!

SleepingDragon264: You're not cool. Well, I don't think you're cool. I just thought you were smart.

Horsepower: Crap… He…

Fearmyspear: He said it…

SweetProdigy: Oh. Well that sucks. At least I'm smart!

SleepingDragon264: …

Horsepower: …

Fearmyspear: …

SleepingDragon264: That's it?

Horsepower: whaddya mean?

SleepingDragon264: This is the big tragic event that would happen if I told him the truth? I thought there'd be… well… an explosion or something!

Fearmyspear: You thought Jiang Wei would just blow up?

SleepingDragon264: Well, not really! I just thought it would be more epic!

Horsepower: he may not care now… but wait til later

Fearmyspear: He's gonna come crying to us later.

Horsepower: eat tons of chocolate

Fearmyspear: Cry.

Horsepower: eat ice-cream

Fearmyspear: Cry.

Horsepower: whine

Fearmyspear: Cry.

Horsepower: cry

Fearmyspear: Did I mention cry?

SleepingDragon264: No.

SleepingDragon264: You failed to point out that one.

Fearmyspear: Okay, then. He's gonna cr-HEY WAIT A MINUTE! I did mention it! Stop messing with me!

SleepingDragon264: Damn.

Horsepower: hey, whoa! k+ rating, remember?

SleepingDragon264: If they say it I the game, I see no problem saying it now.

SleepingDragon264: Kids shouldn't be playing Dynasty Warriors anyway.

Dzetsu has logged in.

Dzetsu: He's got a point!

Fearmyspear: You're a kid.

Dzetsu: No, I'm not! I'm a teenager! Even if I did start playing Dynasty Warriors when I was, like, 7!

Horsepower: GIVE ME MY PASSWORD JERK!

Dzetsu: No.

Horsepower: damn

SleepingDragon264: You hypocrite.

SweetProdigy: Well, I'm gonna go cry now! See you! :D

SweetProdigy has logged out.

Fearmyspear: Uh-oh. Crap.

FunWithFire has logged in.

FunWithFire: wut's tasty, liquidy, making me drunk rite nao and totally flammable/

Horsepower: soap!

Fearmyspear: Dude, he said it was tasty, liquidy, making him drunk, and flammable.

Horsepower: ever heard of liquid soap? think outside ur little cage you idiot

Dzetsu: It's think outside the **box.**

Fearmyspear: YOU'RE the idiot here! Soap isn't flammable! And it doesn't taste good either!

SleepingDragon264: Uh… Anyway… The answer is wine, right?

FunWithFire: ding ding ding! Da strstigist giy is rite on da money!

Horsepower: lu xun, r ur hands on that home row properly?

Fearmyspear: What do you think? He seems totally stoned.

FunWithFire: pj hiud. o\, ypys;;u gomr

Horsepower: uh… what?

Dzetsu: I think he's off the home row to the right a bit. Let me help translate…

SleepingDragon264: Oh guys, I'm totally fine!

Dzetsu: Oh guys, I'm – Damn it, Zhuge Liang! I said I was gonna do it!

SleepingDragon264: You snooze, you lose, I guess.

FunWithFire: oT rrwbruib ri nw/`

Dzetsu: I wasn't snoozing! I was typing, but you and your big brain had to answer first and make me look stupid!

Fearmyspear: It's okay.

FunWithFire: hwery listne to me plase!

Horsepower: we already no ur stupid

Dzetsu: I hate you guys.

FunWithFire: LISREN!

Fearmyspear: WHAT?

Tigahsrool: LU XUN YOU MORON YOU BURNED THE CASTLE DOWN HOW MANY TIMES DID I TELL YOU NOT TO GET DRUNK OFF LU MENG"S WINE!

Horsepower: oh my god, grammer just died there in sun jians sentence

SleepingDragon264: What are you talking about? People like you have already killed it.

Tigahsrool: You don't care that my castle has BEEN BURNED TO THE GROUND?

FunWithFire: I I wuz gomma rell uou huys anout it but y0u w0ldnt ldemme tall!

Tigahsrool: Lu Xun! This isn't a moment to be bragging to your friends! In fact, why the hell would you want to brag about this?

FunWithFire: I danshed luka lka nigh fever whil holin torcjes

Tomboy147 has logged in.

Tigahsrool: I told you! Dancing with fire is DANGEROUS!

FunWithFire: is it/

Tigahsrool: Well, if it has the potential to ruin a castle… THEN YES!

Tomboy147: Oh ew, Lu Xun! U dancing 2 luka luka night fever?

Fearmyspear: I'm impressed. That dance is harder then it looks.

Dzetsu: No kidding. I still can't do it, even after about 2 months of practice…

Horsepower: u dont count. u fail at evrythin.

Dzetsu: Jerk.

FunWithFire: o lerned it off da innernet

Horsepower: funny. i hav a sudden urge to slam my hed aginst a pole for sevrl hours

Dzetsu: Mwahahaha! Don't mess with an author, if you are one of the characters!

Horsepower has logged out.

Tomboy147: Ur … Evil!

Tigahsrool: That's was cruel and slightly unnecessary!

SleepingDragon264: Do you hate him?

Dzetsu: Funny thing is… I don't.

FunWithFire: its reall tirin an stuff buh its kina fun evem i fit wuz kind ahrd to lern

Tigahsrool: So, you're just sadistic and evil that way?

Dzetsu: Yes. Exactly.

Tomboy147: O_o

FunWithFire: maybeh ah shuld hav record eedit an put it online

Tigahsrool: Will you SHUT UP? Besides, I'm sure your dance was awful!

FunWithFire: whu-? nnoo it wusn!

Tomboy147: well, 4 one thing… u were drunk.

FunWithFire: hm… u goota piont

SleepingDragon264: Can someone please get rid of him? His dreadful typing is beginning to aggravate me.

Jinglebellspirate has logged in:

Jinglebellspirate: IMGAYIMGAYIMGAYIMGAY!

Tomboy147: Uh… wut?

Tigahsrool: That's… great for you.

Jinglebellspirate: IM THE STUPIDEST PIRATE IN THE WORLD! ACTUALLY IM THE STUPIDEST PERSON ON THE WORLD! I SUCK!

Dzetsu: Er… Is everything alright with your brain, Gan Ning?

Jinglebellspirate: IM STUPID AND UGLY! IM A MORON!

SleepingDragon264: Someone probably hacked him.

WildChild has logged in.

WildChild: LING TONG GET OFF MY ACCOUNT RIGHT NOW, YOU AS—

Dzetsu: Ahem! No swearing! I don't want this story to get removed or flagged or something!

WildChild: What if I use stars to bleep it out?

Dzetsu: …

Dzetsu: Maybe.

Jinglebellspirate: You hacked me first!

WildChild: Obviously not! Look who logged in first!

Jinglebellspirate: So? You killed my dad!

WildChild: Why do you keep bringing that up? It's not like I went and stabbed him in the back when he was asleep or something!

Jinglebellspirate: I don't care! He's dead and it's all your fault!

WildChild: How pathetic! This is how you get revenge?

Jinglebellspirate: Wh-what? I'll kill you!

WildChild: I'd like to see you try.

Jinglebellspirate: How dare you! Let's take this outside!

WildChild: We **are** outside! That stupid drunk pyro burned the castle down!

Jinglebellspirate: Whatever! I'll kill you!

Jinglebellspirate has logged out.

WildChild: You said that already, you idiot… *sigh*

WildChild: Well, time to restrain him again.

Tigahsrool: Don't kill him, kay?

WildChild: Yeah, I know.

Tomboy147: Last time, u got pretty close 2 it…

WildChild: He didn't die and that's all that matters! D:

WildChild has logged out.

Horsepower has logged in.

Horsepower: ouch, my head. whut did i miss?

SleepingDragon264: What happened to Lu Xun? He hasn't commented for a while, but he hasn't left either…

Tomboy147: Oh, he fainted. I can c him lying over there with his laptop on the rock next 2 him

Horsepower: hello? r u gonna ignore me?

Dzetsu: Oh boy. Someone can easily hack him like that… Or kill him for that matter.

Tigahsrool: Don't worry, he'll be fine.

Horsepowers: dont ignore me. i'll cry.

Tomboy147: isnt evry1, like, totally pissed at him rite now? U no, for burning down the castle?

Tigahsrool: Um… Uh oh.

Tigahsrool has logged out.

Dzetsu: Aw man. The amount of people keeps dropping. It's too hard to keep up with lots of characters at once…

SleepingDragon264: You'll have to deal with it. You are the one who started this, and you have to work on it.

Dzetsu: I don't have to… It's a choice. And it's not like I'll get graded for it or anything.

SleepingDragon264: Even so, you should stop being so lazy.

Dzetsu: Shut up. I hate when you talk because I keep accidentally typing SleepingDragon263 and have to go back and fix it!

SleepingDragon264: That's no reason to make me stop talking.

Tomboy147: Hey, we're the only 3 who're on rite now…

Dzetsu: Well, technically, Lu Xun never logged out.

Fearmyspear: Just because I hadn't talked for a while doesn't mean I left!

Horsepower: yeah! were still here! and u totally ignored me when i did talk!

Tomboy147: Whatever.

Dzetsu: Ooh… I'm hungry… I feel like I'm gonna faint or something… I haven't eaten for hours…

SleepingDragon264: Then eat something.

Dzetsu: I don't wanna go downstairs… My grandma will call me fat again for eating at such a late hour.

Tomboy147: y r u hungry rite now anyway, porky?

Dzetsu: I didn't have dinner… And did you call me porky?

Tomboy147: u shuldnt skip meals, porky.

Dzetsu: Hey, I think I heard you call me porky.

Tomboy147: if u skip meals, ur metabolism drops, porky

Dzetsu: Now I'm definitely sure you're calling me porky.

Tomboy147: porky, if ur hungry, u shuldnt hold urself back.

Dzetsu: Hey! It's becoming a habit!

Fearmyspear: She is absolutely right, porky.

Dzetsu: Now you're doing it too!

Horsepower: eat rite and exercise and u wont get fat, porky.

Dzetsu: C'mon! Don't call me that!

SleepingDragon264: I'm sure you'll maintain a good weight, porky, if you follow those instructions.

Dzetsu: Now all of you are doing it! And don't stick it in the middle of the sentence as if I wouldn't notice!

Dzetsu: Gr… I can't take this abuse. I'm leaving.

Dzetsu has logged out.

Tomboy147: do u think we went overboard?

Horsepower: she'll be fine

Fearmyspear: And next thing you know, she slits her wrists.

Tomboy147: …

Horsepower: …

Fearmyspear: …

SleepingDragon264: …

Fearmyspear: Uh… uh-oh. I think I better check on her. Actually, I have to prepare for another date with Dragon Maiden after this too…

Horsepower: how does it feel 2 go out with a fangirl?

Fearmyspear: Not so bad, but I swear that a bunch of fangirls are after her blood. You would **not** believe the amount of attacks I had to save her from…

Fearmyspear: And it would totally suck if I got blackmailed by more fans who learned from her example.

Fearmyspear: I'd be too busy, then…

Horsepower: o sucks i guess. i wuldnt no because no one blackmailed me

Horsepower: i feel like a loser

Tomboy147: its okay! u dont suck that much!

SleepingDragon264: A fangirl might eventually vie for your attention.

Horsepower: dont say 'might' or 'eventually'! that dusnt make me feel better at all

Fearmyspear: Well, it's not guaranteed or anything. Anyway, I'm leaving now. Cya guys!

Fearmyspear has logged out.

Horsepower: whatev. cya guys im leavin 2

Horsepower has logged out.

Tomboy147: u no… i dont really no u…

SleepingDragon264: No, you don't.

Tomboy147: i dont think that dialogue between us would be funny… not that the rest is funny

SleepingDragon264: No, it wouldn't be funny. I guess I will take my leave now.

Tomboy147: rite. cya

SleepingDragon264: Farewell to you, too, Sun Shang Xiang.

SleepingDragon264 has logged out.

Tomboy147 has logged out.

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Hours later…

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FunWithFire: Whoa!

FunWithFire: My head!

FunWithFire: Oh god!

FunWithFire: It hurts!

FunWithFire: Hey, where did the castle go? All I see is a pile of burned ruins…

FunWithFire: Uh-oh, were we attacked?

FunWithFire: Hey, no one is on! Dang!

FunWithFire has logged out.

* * *

I finally found out what ggrks stands for (not that any of you care). It stands for Gugurekasu. Google it, you moron. Gugure being google, and kasu meaning... scum, I guess.

* * *

Also, I actually went back to re-read my newly updated chapter! I found tons of mistakes. That teaches me to type a new chapter after midnight! Two people never logged out. They just disappeared. I fixed it up and made a few changes. Those who already read this new chapter... Yeah... Sorry. Maybe you'll find out eventually that I fixed this.

Oh, and to Minako the Dragon Maiden of DW and Darth Padfoot (Xiahou Ayumi)... THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH! Xiahou Ayumi, you have stuck by me through all my fail chapters and reviewed faithfully... Sniff. I'm greatful. And Dragon Maiden, I thank you for your wonderful ideas and your reviews! THANK YOU!


	13. Not really a Chapter 13

HOLY CRAP I FORGOT THIS EXISTED

WOW

I'M SORRY ABOUT THAT

OMG I was reading the reviews (I can't believe I was writing this when I was like thirteen u;;) and everyone is so nice.

And to the person who said my chapters were getting boring, I did not feel any resentment whatsoever-it was constructive criticism and it was absolutely true. Even I was thinking it LOL

Actually my friend found my fanfiction account and kind of reminded me that I had this.


	14. Chapter 14

To StoryWeaver854: I apologize deeply for breaking these guidelines.

But you should have told me four years ago. :/ Haha, just kidding. But honestly, I was 12 or 13 when I started this. And now I'm 17. I forgot this thing even existed, wow. Actually thanks for reminding me. Kind of. It was sort of painful remembering what I did so many years ago.

Am I allowed to like, start writing with the proper format from now on? From my update rate, everyone should know by now that I'm too lazy to actually do something proactive.

Oh wait, you want me to move it? That ain't happening. I read the first five chapters and vomited. I hate seeing things I've done when I was younger.

Ooh, wait, I got an idea. Why am I typing this as I think? It's all over the place.

Kids, this is why you always write an outline before you write.

On that note, this part isn't even supposed to be addressed to StoryWeaver854 anymore.

~Me

P.S. I guess I'll just do some small editing on the story even though it's soooo much busy work. You better thank me, people who actually still read this.

To everyone: I started working on your "suggestions" and then lost the paper and gave up. Go me.

Oh crud, with my "idea" I'll have to be looking at the old chapters in detail. I'm brilliant guys.

~Me

Dzetsu forgot what the premise of the story was even supposed to be. But then again, there probably wasn't one.

She stood up and gave a deep, graceful bow.

"Thank you for supporting me over the years, even if my updates are slow as f*** and I can't write to save a life."

Dzetsu smiled at the fourth wall.

"I'm very grateful to all of you. This story is officially completed. I think I'm done with this."

The author thought for a moment.

"Though if I have the time, that might change. I could always just changed the status back to Incomplete and keep going. But for now, this is finished. Thank you for reading and I'm sorry that you read it and I congratulate you for surviving this long."

The non-existent curtains closed, ending the scene.


End file.
